“That's too slow! Just use weedkiller, like we do."

She said it as she walked past in her usual, hurried, I've-got-somewhere-to-be state. 

From my position on the ground, I turned in her direction and said, "Aha," as a polite form of agreement, and then promptly went back to pulling out bindis (small prickly weeds) by hand.

This stressed-out, always-giving-me-advice-on-the-fly neighbour of mine meant well. Most people do when they offer a solution to a problem they see. But is their advice correct for you?

Logically, her suggestion made sense:

I would save myself a lot of time and hassle if I simply sprayed the offending, nasty, spiky weeds that take up residence in our lawn each spring and make walking barefoot almost intolerable.

But I didn't want to save time. I wanted an excuse to get outdoors.

What my well-meaning neighbour didn't realise is that slowly, painstakingly pulling bindis out by hand was giving me immense health benefits. It gave me the opportunity to:

* Ground my (electrical) body every day,

* Spend time getting up and down from a deep squat that's good for all my joints, 

* Get UVA light into my eyes and onto my bare skin to reset my body clock for the day,

* Have a little more social engagement than I get working alone from inside this big home, and

* Be in my 'Valleys' environment where I can hear the birds and the wind in the trees, and gain news from passersby. 

People can be quick to offer advice. But rarely do they know the whole story of why you're doing what you're doing. 

Sometimes advice can be helpful, but only you will know if the quick suggestion, the well-thought-out response or even the solution you've paid an expert to give you is actually right for you.

My neighbour has no clue that I'm ticking so many subtle, nuanced (and wildly misunderstood) boxes for myself when I pull those bindis out by hand. And even if she slowed down enough for me to tell her why I'm doing what I'm doing, she'd probably dismiss my reasoning out of hand because she carries the persona of someone who thinks she knows better than everyone else.

No one knows better than you. 

Yes, people might be experts in their field. Yes, people may have formally or informally studied something for decades and know a lot about that topic. Yes, that person might be smarter, richer or more beautiful than you.

But they are not you. They are not in your body. They haven't lived through your life. And they don't know how their suggestion feels when it hits your body.

But you do.

So when some well-meaning person comes along and tells you to:

"Do your marketing this way!"

or

"The way to find a partner is by following this 3-step system!"

or

"Your health will improve if you spend more time at the beach/do cold plunges daily/take these supplements/buy this device to track this health metric!"...

Press pause.

If you know, like, and trust them, then by all means listen to their suggestion. But it doesn't mean you have to take it in. You don't have to action it. You don't have to "do what they've done" as it may not be right for you.

Only you will know. 

But you've got to be willing to listen to yourself: Your body wisdom. Your internal knowing. Your inner guiding light. 

What does the wisest, most present, most connected part of you say about their suggestion? Go with that.

Caroline x