I had a comment on one of my YouTube videos about Projectors in business, and they asked, “Why is it so cringy when a Projector initiates?”

 

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of Projector guidance when you didn't ask for it (whether you're a Projector or any other Human Design Type), you'll know exactly what this person was talking about. It's cringe-worthy; that is, it feels really bad.
 

So, in this article, I'm going to talk about why it feels so “cringy” when a Projector initiates, and I'll give you an analogy that helped me immensely in my early days as a Projector stop initiating all the f*cking time. This realisation also helped me to really understand the power of waiting for the invitation.
 

Let's do this!

If you know much about the Projector aura (aka energy field; the thing that our body lives in), it is said to penetrate deeply into one person at a time. This is how I teach my clients about it, as it’s the way I learned many, many years ago about how the aura of the Projector operates.
 

And when I first heard this language of “penetrating aura” about 12 years ago, I had this realisation (and it's served me really well ever since). If you'd been inside my mind that day, you would have heard something like this:
 

“Hang on, if my energy as a Projector is penetrating deeply into one person at a time, don't I need consent? Like, isn't it very, very similar to having sex with a person?!”
 

From that point on, that's the way I viewed it, and it’s the way I have taught it to my Projector clients ever since. (Or rather, it's what I teach to those who show me they are ready to hear this kind of lesson! Not everyone is… understandably, because it is a little confronting.)
 

So, if you are a Projector, what I want you to know is that it's the same principle we need to apply here.

Consent before having sex with another? Yes.

Consent before guiding another? Yes.
 

Remember, just because you can feel and see and sense deeply into the heart and soul of another person doesn't mean you have any right (or consent) to tell them what you see.

Having this realisation made it so viscerally alive for me because, of course, like all conscious, kind humans, I don't want to be all up in someone's business without their permission, right?
 

And anytime I accidentally forget (because you know, I’m human like all of my clients and I still occasionally mess it up - particularly with my family, who I adore and just want to help), any time that I would accidentally fall back into that old conditioned pattern of initiating all I needed was another well-meaning Projector to give me advice that I didn't ask for.

Then I would have that experience in my body that would cause my mind to say something like:
 

“Oh, that feels gross! What are they doing?! Oh my God, I just want them to shut up already!”

And that would be my reminder:

“Caroline, this is what you're doing when you initiate. This is how it feels for the other person.”

So, if you are somebody who (wherever you currently are in your journey with Human Design) feels like understanding how to ‘wait for the invitation’ as a Projector sounds like it’s really simple in theory, but you haven’t tried really living it, then you’re not alone!
 

I can confirm, it's not freaking easy.

If you have any level of conditioning that says you have to initiate (like a Manifestor) or respond (like the Generator Types), then you're going to be going through life thinking that this whole ‘wait for the invitation’ thing is impossible. If that’s the case for you, please know that it's super important to prioritise deconditioning.
 

(If you are new to Human Design and don’t know what deconditioning means, this video will help.)
 

When you prioritise deconditioning, it will be so much easier for you to wait for the invitation and stop freakin’ initiating. Then you won't be one of those cringe-worthy Projectors who's giving their well-meaning advice when nobody asked for it.
 

And what is wonderful is that in the space that is created, the right people and the right opportunities and the right invitations can find you!
 

Because here's the thing:

If you're still accidentally initiating all over the place or responding (neither is correct or even useful if you’re a Projector), there's no space for invites to come in because you're off doing things that weren't correct for you!
 

But if instead you pause, hold your tongue, and you don't say the thing (or don't try to ‘make things happen’), then there is the space for golden opportunities to come in.
 

Now, I can only tell you that with such conviction because I have walked myself through this process of deconditioning sufficiently to really experience and understand the profound magic that happens when we stop initiating, stop responding and create space for invitations to come in.

That said, I’m not perfect. And you don’t need to be either.

But if you can shift your unconscious behaviours just a little bit, you might find yourself creating the kind of magic you used to dream about.

If you found this article helpful, could you share it with a Projector you know who is trying really, really hard to follow their Human Design Strategy and just-can't-get-it? Hopefully, this analogy will be helpful for them too.

Caroline x